James Stockdale’s quotation “And we had our own custom, traditions, and proprieties” rightly sets the tune of my article. It is true that we all are bound by a set of traditions, customs and proprieties which are very unique and aboriginal of our own individual culture. However, marriage being one tradition followed by all and sundry across the world irrespective of community, religion, country has rituals and customs varying from country to country and sometimes from one region to another within the same country.
Some of these rituals are quite bizarre forcing us to think that marriage is more than the commitments, love and friendship. It is a way to embark upon a new life with all the blessings and wishes of family and friends who do everything going out of their way to make the day special for the wedding couple. Without these off-the-wall strange rites the ceremony of marriage won’t be marriage…….an event fraught with amusement and pleasure. It seems incredible that with the fast changing scenario of society and culture, some of the ancient wedding rituals that have been carried over from one generation to the next are still in vogue today.
Scottish wedding traditions are quite elaborate with a lot of interesting ancient customs all of which are no longer followed in detail. There is an assortment of pre-wedding, during the wedding and post wedding rituals like the feet washing, stag night, blackening of the bride, hand fasting etc. In ‘feet washing’ custom the bride dips her feet in a tumbler full of water with a bunch of her female friends sitting around her to wash her feet. There remains a coin hidden in the water and the one who finds the coin out is believed to be married next year. ‘The Stag Night’ custom is what we call in modern terms ‘bachelor party’. The groom accompanied by his friends celebrates the night usually in a bar drinking to his heart’s content being the target of the good-natured ribaldry. No Scottish wedding is complete without the bagpipers piping in the beginning and at the end of the ceremony. During the marriage ceremony, there is a ritual called ‘hand fasting’ which requires the couple to tie their hands in a cord or ‘tartan cloth’ while they take their marriage vows meaning that from then on they are combined into a single entity. Strangely enough, in some of the provinces of Scotland, there is a pre-wedding ritual called ‘blackening the bride’ where the kitchen refuse like rotten eggs or fishes or stale vegetables are thrown at the bride and then she is ‘paraded round the town mostly in bars along the way.’
French wedding too is performed in a grand manner where the orange blossoms play a significant role. During the wedding vows, a silk fabric called ‘carre’ is held over the head of the bride and groom to protect them from evil. Then there is a ritual of the bride’s father taking the bride’s shoes off and handing it over to the groom as an indication to ‘pass the authority’ over the bride to the groom. The groom acknowledges the transfer of the authority by gently tapping the head of the bride with the shoe. At the reception small cakes usually brought by the guests are arranged in a mound as high as possible and the bride and groom are to kiss that mound without toppling them over. This custom stands for a life of prosperity. On the wedding night friends of the bride and groom make a loud noise by blowing horns or clanging pots and pans to force the wedding couple come out of their chamber fully dressed to entertain their ‘tormentors’ with foods and drinks.
German wedding incorporates some weird customs one of them being ‘polterabend’ which entails smashing of a pile of dishes by the assembled guests for the bride and groom to clean the mess up. The idea working behind such custom is that the action of cleaning the heap of shattered dishes would prepare the couple for their new lives together. The throwing of rice is an ancient custom of German wedding passing on from one generation to the other. While leaving the church after marriage, the newlyweds are deluged in rice. Each of the rice grain sticking to the hair of the bride is believed to indicate future progeny.
In Chinese traditions the wedding day is called the ‘groom’s day’’ meaning the groom and his families will have to bear all the expenses associated with marriage. The process of marriage is initiated by three letters. First is a request letter sent by the groom’s family to the bride’s family to confirm the formal arrangement of marriage. Second is the gift letter that mentions the value of each gift sent to the bride’s family from groom’s side and the concluding letter is presented on the day of the wedding. The color red plays an important role in Chinese marriage. Everything starting from envelopes to the wedding dress of the bride is in red.
India being a multi-lingual and multi-cultural country has people celebrating the occasion following a range of customs differing from one province or community to another. Diversity in its true form exists here. The rituals and rites followed in Bengali wedding are at variance with the ones observed in a Marathi wedding. There is a plethora of wedding rituals performed during the wedding, pre-wedding and after the wedding of a Bengali marriage. Red being the color of fertility and prosperity for Indians, the bride dons the traditional dress ‘saree’ of red or colors having a shade of crimson. The wedding day is preceded by rituals like ‘holud kota’ and ‘dodhi-mongol’. In ‘holud-cota’ ceremony the bride is smeared from top to toe with turmeric paste by the elderly married women. Turmeric is believed to brighten up the bride’s complexion bringing a natural glow to her face. ‘Dadhi mongol’ ceremony takes place at the dawn of the wedding day when married ladies put a pair of red and white bangles on the hands of the bride feeding her curd and rice, the only meal for the day. Both these rituals are performed at the groom’s home too with a slight difference that the groom doesn’t wear the bangles. The main wedding rituals involve a host of customs like ‘mala bodol’, ‘subho-drishti’, ‘saat paak’, ‘sampradan’ etc. The wedding begins with ‘saat-pak’ when the bride seated on a low wooden stool is carried by her brothers or uncles to circumambulate the groom for seven times. After the end of this ritual, the bride and the groom exchange garlands of tuberose thrice followed by ‘subho-drishti’ when the bride and groom steal a romantic glance of each other in front of all the invitees. ‘Sampradan’ is a ‘transfer of authority’ over the bride from her father to the groom. With this ceremony the father of the bride hands over all the responsibilities of his daughter on the shoulders of the groom.
Regardless of the difference of wedding customs and traditions discussed above, the main purpose of observing all the rituals in a nuptial is common for everyone i.e. to felicitate the couple binding them in an eternal bond of love and commitment.
Resources:
Brainyquote.com: http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/traditions.html
http://www.vowsfromtheheartofscotland.com/traditions.htm
http://www.muslim-marriage-guide.com/french-wedding-customs.html
http://ezinearticles.com/?German-Wedding-Customs&id=1321753
http://www.983wedding.com/chinese/
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