Fiction Vs Non-fiction...what to choose?

Once I was more keen to reading fiction books primarily because the dreams woven within fictions end up in a happy note most of the time. Non-fiction never appealed to me because I thought it futile to read real life agonies documented in a book. I was like "when there are so much pain all around in this real world, why waste time going through the agonies experienced by different people and feel the pain"...rather the non-fiction stories with their melodramatic plot and action sequences and ultimately a happy union made me feel happier, transporting me into a world of Utopia...where every wish is granted, every dream is fulfilled and every desire is met....I was a decade younger when I used to think so silly.


Now all grown up with a mind of my own, not that I didn’t have a mind ten years earlier, but yes, emotional maturity was not there which is required to think in-depth, I have started developing a liking for non-fictions, biographical and auto-biographical writings. The euphoria of reading surreal stories has been replaced now by the empathy and understanding gained out of a real-life experience recorded on paper. It seems each of us lives through a life that is nothing short of a kaleidoscope of happiness & unhappiness, failures and frustrations, wins and losses, fortunes & misfortunes. Each of us has our life affected by the refrains of this kaleidoscope and we live it all, sometimes survive and sometimes give up halfway through.


One of my college pals couple of years back committed suicide for a reason unknown to us. She left behind two small young daughters. Looking back as I could recall, she was a vivacious girl very much in love with a boy whose photo she once showed to us. Her father died all of a sudden while she was still in college and later I heard that she got the job of her father. After passing out from college I met her once in a metro train on my way back home from the university while I was doing my masters and she was returning from office. She was wearing a saree and I caught a glimpse of the streak of vermillion smearing her head. She was looking happy, at least so I presumed. I wonder what might have transpired within a handful of years that she chose the drastic step of ending her life.


Sitting in the cocoon of comfort of my paternal home, when I was chatting with one of my old college friends with my heart full of excitement for shifting to Bangalore the following month, my friend broke the dreadful news to me. That was first time someone I knew of my age died and that is also through a means like suicide....It is just terrible....the feeling.


As life seems more real now than it was when I was living it with an impressionable mind busy in conjuring up dreams for future, I feel more than inclined to go through non-fictional autobiographies and biographies for life pictured in non-fiction might not take you to a hunky-dory realm of paradise, but it will bring you face to face with what life is all about and how people survive amidst untoward circumstances and live their share of good and bad fortunes boldly with an indomitable spirit.

Keep Dreaming !!

Everyone should dream. Without a dream you wont have anything to look forward to. I know not all dreams come true, but that should not stop you from dreaming. Afterall, dream is what begets passion in us to make an all-out effort to pursue our goals. People put up with hardships and struggles year after year with a smile on face cause they hope that one day their 'dreams' would materialize. It's a dream that gives strength to overcome a crisis.It's a dream that keeps a person get going amidst devastation. It hurts when dreams are shattered, but it hurts more when you have no dream to hold on to. Dreamless life becomes void, static and monotonous. So keep dreaming !! cause "dreams are necessary to life" as quoted by American author Anais Nin.

Revolution 2020 by Chetan Bhagat - A Review

I have this problem with the books of Chetan Bhagat that when I sit to read his writing, until I reach the end of the book reading, I find no peace.That's how addictive his writing is. I bought his latest novel 'Revolution 2020' from a street vendor. Just when I was in the midst of an interesting chapter, I noticed that around 16 pages from pg 216-232 were missing in my copy. Damn ! I felt like going back to Karamongala to return the book and exchange it with a fresh piece, but we were only about one and half hour away from the movie we were to see that evening. Travelling down to Karamongala meant we would have to miss the movie. Tickets were bought already, but I had no patience to wait until the next day to know what transpired in the novel. So my hubby scoured the cyberspace desperately in search of a pdf version lest I stayed adamant with my demand to get the book exchanged first and made him miss his movie. Thankfully a philanthropist blogger was generous enough to distribute pdf versions of the book on his blog and my husband downloaded it from there, all for my sake I assume :p


Based on what apparently seems to be a real life incident, 'Revolution 2020' recounts the life story of three friends - Gopal Mishra, Raghav & Aarti. Set against the backdrop of Varanasi, a city that cleanses sins, the novel revolves around their ambition, competitiveness, jealousy, failures and achievements in life. It also broaches a very sensitive topic up for discussion - the desperation among Indian parents for their sons to clear engineering or medical entrance exam and putting pressure on them for repetition in case of failure at first attempt. It's hard to live a free life being a woman in our country, thanks to the deluge of restrictions imposed on our freedom to movements. But the novel opens my eyes to view the perspective of guys who go through the pain of pressure for clearing JEE or AIEEE at any cost. Based on a period when number of seats in govt Engineering colleges were limited and private technical institutions were not prevalent in India, the novel describes the frustration of its central character Gopal Mishra who for the sake of fulfilling his father's dream goes all the way from Varanasi to Kota to spend one year taking preparation for JEE and AIEEE.On the other hand, Raghab, the good boy, cleared JEE but instead of choosing IIT as his alma mater goes to BHU for further studies as it will help him fulfill his passion of 'journalism'. When asked if being a journalist is his ultimate ambition, why he is wasting precious years studying engineering, he replies "Dad. Why else?" Such is the mindset of most of the Indian parents who think that without an engineering or medical degree, their children's career will go to waste.

This desperation to become engineers or doctors breeds jealousy & frustration among those who lag behind in the rat race while their friends race ahead of them clearing the sought-after JEE or AIEEE. This is what forms the core of this novel - how sheer competitiveness and failure in the tests of life take two friends apart, with a fuel adding to the flame is the girl who, both friends are in love with, responds to the proposal of the guy, handsomer of the two with a brighter future. How life with all its challenges change the moral trajectory of people and how an underdog also has the ability to make it big in life with fate standing by him are the questions answered in this novel. A fully engaging book, it will keep you glued until finish.

Rockstar - My Review

I cherish a fondness for Ranbir Kapoor ever since I have seen his second release 'Bachna Ae Haseeno'(I gave his debut movie 'Sawariya' a deliberate miss for the acrid reviews). I simply admire the way he brings forth a character alive by his spontaneous god-gifted & genetic acting ability. In Wake Up Sid, even Kankona Sensharma, who is my favourite because of her natural expression, looks slightly faded in comparison with Ranbir's full-bodied performance. So I might be quite prejudiced when it comes to writing a review on Ranbir's film as my eyes remain transfixed on him throughout, everyone else sharing the same screen space looks hardly existent in the shadow of his power-packed deliverance.


'Rockstar' begins with Ranbir missing from a stage show & his entering the screen struggling with a band of police to wriggle himself free & finally arriving on stage with a guitar in hand. The next moment we are taken through a kaleidoscope of fast-paced flashback glimpses into Ranbir's life.The film covers the journey of an eccentric man called 'Janardhan' from an ordinary boy, passionate about music with dreams of reaching heights just like his idol "Jim Morrison", to a megastar, riddled with negative controversies & a heap of court cases.The first half of the movie was simply fantastic when Jordan aka Janardhan influenced by the words of his mentor made romantic moves towards the most beautiful girl in the college, Heer (Nargis Fakhri) with a motive to experience 'pain' as 'pain' motivates one to sing with passion. Their unusual friendship and curious attempts at socially unacceptable things brought them close to each other. While Nargis moved to Prague after marriage, fate & a chain of circumstances transformed Ranbir aka Janardhan into the country's next big sensation. The second half highlighted more of the candyfloss mushy romance between Ranbir & Nargis than the ups & downs of the rockstar's life. The movie went overboard with an application of the cliched stereotypical formula of Bollywood showing true love winning over a terminal life-threatening disease. It was just way too much and watered down the effect of the film.However, for a die-hard romantic person comfortable with conventional love stories, the film might do the trick.


The hypnotic numbers composed by A.R Rahman playing in the background was mesmerizing, interweaving perfectly with the story-telling.I like the way Imtiaz Ali built the story with minute details. The technique of showing a collage of shots passing rapidly on the screen and then painting a picture through subsequent development of the story was undoubtedly commendable and artistic. Shammi Kapoor in the last role of his life as Bismillah Khan was heart-touching.The film even paid a tribute to late Shammiji through the enactment of a one minute song sequence from 'Kashmir Ki kali'. Shot across beautiful locations of Prague with the breathtaking bird's eye view capturing the entire city in a single frame, the cinematography by Anil Mehta was stupendous. Needless to mention, Ranbir outdid his fellow actors in his portrayal of the passionate whimsical somewhat crazy character of 'Jordan', the rockstar. Ethereal Nargis Fakhri was more noticeable for her ravishing glow than acting.


The film with all its flaws in archetype storyline is watchable because of many reasons mentioned above. Undisputably, the movie would have been awesome if the story, woven around Janardhan's achievement, failure & frustration, would have received the main focus of treatment with the love story complementing it. Sadly, love ostensibly being the main concern overshadowed what the movie was meant to be based on - "Music & Rockstar".

My Encounter with Beading

Beading is one hobby that I have picked up by mere chance. I am hooked on to embroidery since my childhood days. Yes heard right from childhood days, barely from the age of eight. There was one of my aunties who had done a diploma in embroidery and her expertise in sewing would alter any ordinary fabric into a wow marvellous piece of handicraft. It's unfortunate that she never opted embroidery as her vocation cause I believe she had the talent to become a successful business woman had she started selling her sewn bedclothes and tableclothes. They were simply amazing !!

So as imitating elders comes naturally to any child, same was with me. Auntie used to visit our house with a pouch containing needles and fabrics and as she would busy herself readily in conversation with my mother, her hands would skillfully continue maneuvering the motifs into beautiful pieces of art, simultaneously. Sitting by her side while mutely observing the dexterity of her hands I would feel an urge swelling inside me to imitate her and swept away by that growing urge, I made repeated pleas to have her teach me some stitches. On my persistence, she showed me how to make certain stitches including chain stiches and buttonholes.That was the beginning. I stitched some wonderful tableclothes, during my school days , which my mother still uses. But after sometime as I started growing up and got myself entangled in what seemed neverending pursuit of education...graduation, postgraduation....my mother gradually stopped buying me threads and fabrics in order to put pressure on me to keep studies as my first priority. Thus embroidery went on the backburner until I got married and returned to Kolkata from Pune, within three months, to join back school where I had been working as an assistant teacher after my postgraduation.

During my short-term absence from work, one or two new teachers were recruited in school. B was one of the newly recruits who joined as a temporary teacher in the same subject as me...English. She is of the same age as mine. Hence just within few days we made a good rapport with one another. I came to know of her brilliance in drawing. As our friendship bloomed and we started visiting each other, one day at her home I discovered a salwar piece she was sewing. The motif was designed so beautifully on the fabric that I thought of picking up my needles again. On my insistence she drew some beautiful motifs on the dupatta of one of my salwaars and thus I reverted to my old hobby once again. My passion for embroidery made me scout through the cyberworld in quest of patterns and stitches unknown to me. I learned a lot about world embroidery and came to know that embroidery involves such a wide gamut of subjects that learning all of them in one life is next to impossible.

My hunger for learning more and more about embroidery one day brought me vis-a-vis with another exquisite craft...Beading. Now I guess you might have been able to corelate the introductory statement of this article to the rest of my blabbering. One thing leading to another, chance led me to beading. As I moped around different websites featuring the works of a host of terrifically talented people in the art of beading, I deliberated to start beading jewellaries. But unlike embroidery I am only a novice here. I have merely started to walk in the art of beading...and I have a long way to go, a lot of things to learn and enjoy.Beading is strenuous for eyes but the strain seems trivial to the joy that I feel upon completion of a bracelet, earring or necklace created by me.Recently I wove a necklace using Dutch Spiral Stitch that I learnt couple of days back. The snaps are attached with the write-up.

Ra.One - Review

We went to watch Ra.One yesterday on Diwali with full-blown expectation that the movie would leave its mark on the history of Bollywood industry for generations to come cause this is the first sci-fi movie made on such huge scale with a whopping budget of 175 crores in Bollywood. Shahrukh also made good marketing endeavour by endorsing various brands to promote his film.Just before the release of the movie, video games of Ra.One flooded the market and thus with the craze set, expectation out of Ra.One was huge. We assumed that it would be another groundbreaking sci-fi film after Robot to break records of all-time Bollywood megahits.In our enthusiasm, we invested in watching the 3D version of the film.That the money spent on the tickets was totally wasted soon dawned on our consciousness just as we started watching the movie.


To our disappointment, only 15 minutes after starting the film, it seemed as if the movie was not going to be what we expected. The dialogues were insipid with unsuccesful ticklish efforst made to incite amusement.Right from the beginning as Shahrukh entered the screen in the role of a South Indian scientist Shekhar, who relished noodles with curd and was the creative lead in the game division of a scientific lab, all he did was unnecessarily trying to be funny and look like a joker instead.He was a timid cowardly scientist who with an intent to become hero in his son's eyes embarked on the creation of an all-powerful invincible wicked anti-hero called Ra.One. To combat Ra.One was created a hero with less power called G.One. We were only few minutes away from intermission when finally G.One and Ra.One came out of the box of video game into reality.The first one hour of the movie was spent on showing Shahrukh trying different ways to impress his son, like dressing up in a tight leather garment in a Michael Jackson style, quoting from the Gita, trying to correct Kareena's Tamil and ofcourse creating the villain called Ra.One.


The second half spilled some power-packed action scenes between Ra.One and G.One with special effects no other hindi movie can boast of.I specially liked the crumbling of Churchgate station of Mumbai into a rubble, following the impact of G.One stopping a spun-out train with his bare hands. But sadly apart from the tumbling down of Churchgate Station, nothing appeared innovative or fresh in ideas. The movie was a sad hotchpotch of threadbare concepts collected from Hollywood and Tollywood.Many scenes and sequences, mannerisms of characters would give you a constant reminder of Matrix, Terminator 2 and recent Tollywood Blockbuster Robot. Rajnikanth in his one minute cameo of Chitti earned an applause, but he too was brought out inanely with his one word dialogue "Chitti, Chitti".


Kareena brought some refreshment with her performance in "Chamak Challo" number but Shahrukh as G.One was looking sloppy and horrible shaking a leg, waist and butt to the tune. Imagine Arnold Schwarzenegger dancing the same in Terminator triology...I would faint.Debutant Armaan Verma who played the role of Shahrukh's son Prateek delivered a commendable performance.Arjun Rampal took the form of Ra.One for an estimated half an hour only, the other half was played by Tom Wu.According to Anubhab Sinha, Ra.One's director "When we started this film, the idea was can we make a simple film, about a husband, wife and child and then suddenly blow everyone's mind when they start fighting [...] So there were two films in one: the people who like the action...and those who like a family film." Anubhab Sinha should have had understood that the audience doesnot expect a family drama out of a sci-fi movie. You cannot put Baghban or Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gam in the same wrapper of Robot. Both fall under different genres and need discrete treatment. Mixing the two is sure going to be a disaster like Ra.One.

8 Kinds of Annoying People

In our day to day life we come across so many people with different nature and characteristics, some of whom become our friends instantly right from the moment we shake hands and some of whom remain intriguing and mysterious to us even after years of spending time with them and some of whom we dont gel with at all for they being completely opposite to us in nature and mental wavelength.My fate has brought me in touch with a whole gamut of people from extremely bad and selfish to extremely good and generous and here in this article I would like to talk about 8 kinds of people, among others whom I find completely displeasing to my taste.

1) Frustrated Obtrusive kind: There is one person whom I reconnected recently in FB after a gap of over a decade.Calling that person 'friend' will be an overstatement as I hardly ever had communicated with him. We met in coaching class at ninth standard when I used to shy away from him and his peers because they used to bully and tease me over my nickname. Yes I have an embarrassing nickname given affectionately by one of my aunties during those kuchikoo muchiko session when every baby wrapped up in his/her mother's lap gets smothered with affection from all.I was no exception either. However, the nickname, usually restricted within family members, caused me pain during my childhood when disclosed to outsiders for there were insensitive children and teenagers who using it as a weapon used to target me for a ridicule and you know children can be quite cruel when it comes to bullying someone.


Without my knowledge, that embarrassing name got leaked in school and subsequently in coaching classes. Before long, my fellow mates in school and coaching classes started holding me up to ridicule by pronouncing my name in an irritating, ugly fashion. I remember once while returning from coaching class, I bumped into this person concerned and his buddies and they started calling me by my nickname at the top of their voice across the street and mortified in shame and embarrassment, I started running towards my home crying. I was in ninth standard then. I used to hate this person so much that when on the first day of my college I saw him and his buddy hovering infront of our college entrance(dont exactly know why for they didnt study in the same college) and approaching to talk to me, I brushed them aside rudely in feign of total ignorance. After about more than a decade, all of a sudden I got a friendship request from this person on FB and since I have long left all these unpleasant incidents behind me, there was no reason why shouldnot I accept his request. I reasoned that we both were immature and young when such bullying took place, but now all grown up, things could start on a clean slate.


Here I made the blunder. "People dont change". Recently then I had gone into a severe argument on FB with one or two of my friends over Anna Hazare related issue and over some feminist topics and I fought my friends with full strength in support of my views and they with theirs. This person in concern observed that online exchange of words and arguments between me and my friends and wanted to make his presence in my friend list known to me.He started commenting on my even benign status messages in a provocative tone as if making an attempt to get a reaction from me. I ignored him mostly, but when I updated my status with a quotation, collected from one of the websites,this person stepped his foot forward in initiating an argument with me. Although the status message was at all not argument-worthy and never even in my dreams I did imagine that someone might try to instigate me into fighting over such plain quote like "Happiness and content lie in the mind, not in the material gain or possession." I got few "likes" on this status and so I was pretty baffled when this person started attacking me saying that I didnt believe in the quotation myself and that my actions proved that and that I was misguiding people. His behaviour confused me and I didnot exactly realize why this person was attacking me personally. "My actions?"....he hardly knows me on a personal level and how could without knowing me and without being in touch for over a decade, he had the audacity to point his finger at my "actions"? My husband told me not to say anything to him saying that this person was yearning for an attention from me and so he was trying to provoke me into a verbal duel.But I had alreday made a reaction by responding to his comments and so there was no stepping back. My slience would be taken for my weakness and he would again try to harrass me over another status update of mine.I argued with him for a while after which I decided to quit cause I started feeling he intentionally was trying to pick a fight. The next day he put a sarcastic status message on his wall targetting me very diplomatically without mentioning my name, but it was plain and clear that the sarcasm in the message was meant for me.He wrote something like "Some people dont know what they are saying, why they are saying and dont believe in the words themselves and keep misleading innocent people." I preferred to ignore that. But the same day I saw him posting a group snap taken years before infront of the coaching centre when we were all studying in xth std and he blurred my image in that group photo with green sketch pen. It was so obvious that he was again trying to bully me, but all he was causing was "irritation".


When we were studying in the same coaching centre during ninth and tenth std, he had an affair with one of my school mates which I guess didnot last long. Since I was not in touch with either of them after completing tenth, I dont know exactly what transpired between the two or what happened later in his life that he was cherishing not a very pleasant notion about women. Since he presumed that I am still the weaker kind, he might have thought to vent his frustration with women through me. The moment I put up a status like "Happiness and content lie in the mind, not in the material gain or possession.", he tried to wreak his vengeance or frustration with women on me.I hate men who try to feel superior suppressing a woman's voice. He might have suffered some wrongs in his life but that doesnt justify his action of ventillating his frustration on someone he has not met for years. I immediately dropped him off from my friend's list refusing to be treated like a punch bag.


2) Dead before death kind: I dont feel any empathy for the people who give up even before the battle is started. In short, people lacking the mental strength to fight back annoys me. I have seen friends and even near and dear ones who are relatively in a much more better condition than many, crying over their lot and indulging themselves in eternal self-pity. They are so self-centred that they refuse to see beyond the narrow walls of their own life and crib and complain how unhappy they are whereas people really in suffering donot have the luxury to ponder and complain about their fate. This "dead before death kind" lacks the fighting spirit and believes that a fairy will appear from nowhere and set everything right. They dont have the strength to fight their own battle and they constantly look at others for support. I know someone who is so timid to confront her own husband that she pushes her underage daughter forward to fight with him on her defense. When asked why she is ruining the innocence of her child by exposing her to the ugly side of life, she answered "Because I cant fight with him.I fear his temper and he shouts a lot." Okay, so your child can fight her father, but you dont have the guts to confront a short-tempered husband. How silly that sounds. On the other hand, I have seen people who overcome challenging and traumatic situations, which might knock over even an optimist into self-pity, boldly. There is one beautiful girl whose right hand got amputated in an accident at a tender age of 21 years. Many of us including myself would have gone into a phase of perennial depression, facing a trauma like this. She is an architect engineer for whom her right hand was everything, but she refused to give up and when I see her combatting her situation so bravely, I feel so inspired.


3) Comparison and jealousy: I hate the lot who spend hours comparing themselves with others and on calculation how better or worse their condition is compared to their peers.Out of this constant comparison forms jealousy which sometimes even proves fatal for a relationship or friendship.I had a friend during my childhood to grown up years whom I shared a close bond with, atleast I believed so till I realized that she suffered from a kind of inferiority complex about herself and since I was the weak kind, immature devoid of personality, she used to feel superior by belittling me. When she got higher first division in matriculation exam with just 25 marks short from getting star marks and I barely managed to obtain first division, she started boasting that off, sometimes to the extent of hurting me making comments like "Arrey ami oi college e chance pachchi naa, tui pabi ki kore" (arrey, I am not getting admission in that college, how cud you?) After the results of higher secondary exam were out and I got through with first division in arts stream and she got second division in science stream, she stopped calling me up and visiting my house. So one day on my way to their house, I met her and her mother. Her mother instead of congratulating and boosting up my confidence saying something in praise made a comment "amar meye arts niye porle higher first division jeto." (If my daughter would have studied with arts, she would have scored higher first division.") You see if a mother is like this, you cannot expect a better person from her daughter.I remember after I took admission in CU for masters in English and my friend didnt get chance in MSc, her mother stopped talking to me when I used to visit her house.It's only when my friend's marriage got fixed that her mother started treating me well into their home. My friend continued her rivalry with me till she got married, and after that I discontinued f'ship with her. Well, I tried many a time to cut loose from her company, but everytime I used to distance myself away, she on some pretext or the other used to call me up or visit my house with a cake or gift to revive the f'ship. I had a problem back then. I couldnot behave rudely to people or say any hurtful words. She kept taking advantage of my weakness and used me to her benefit till she got married.She was one of my childhood friends whom I loved a lot, but jealousy and constant comparison proved detrimental to our f'ship. While I was fine with her achievement and success, she had problem with mine. I didnt attend her nuptial ceremony cause I was invited only the day before her wedding while her marriage was fixed two months earlier and she lived in the same locality as me. She tried to contact me twice or thrice after her marriage, but I didnt respond back cause I realized that it's better to stay friendless and lonely than keeping a bad friend for company. 
 
4) I am Best: If inferiority complex is damaging to the growth of one's personality, same is true for people suffering from superiority complex. People with superiority complex are so self-absorbed that they spend considerable amount of time blowing their own trumpet without waiting for others to sing praises for them. When I used to work in a higher secondary school as an assistant teacher I had one colleague who used to think that she was best at everything, which is a fine thing by the way if one could be best at everything, but wait, let others give compliments to you, otherwise constant self-praise and bragging makes you a very nagging person to others.She was amiable and open-minded by heart and good as a human being, but this tendency of constant self-aggrandizement and self-praise made her unpleasant to everyone.


5) Fake Personae: I hate fake people. I am sure many of us might have come across this bunch of people who fabricate stories glorifying themselves to substantiate their superiority. Propelled may be by an inferiority complex these people with an intent to show themselves superior or on par with their peers resort to lies, sometimes in a compulsive manner. The problem is that the people who lie compulsively dont realize that the little incongruities in facts and figures expose themselves as liars to others and that just because some people are polite enough not to say something harsh right into your face exposing you, doesnot mean that they are buying your words and cant see through the fabrication.

6) Hypocrites: There are people whose actions dont match their words and who dont practise what they preach, whose versions and opinions change in next to no time with the change of season and situation. That childhood friend of mine whom I mentioned in the third paragraph used to always taunt me about my brother having passed out from a private engineering college in Bangalore. My brother is 10yrs senior to me and he had gone through a struggling period with regard to landing up with a good job. He is now doing pretty fine careerwise but he once spent time sitting at home unemployed. This friend of mine used to say many hurtful words to me relating to my brother's unemployment and often used to say that the college my brother passed out from was bad and hence he had problem getting a good job. Well, years later her marriage got fixed with someone who passed out from the same Engineering college my brother got his degree from. You ought to have seen the change in her tone then. She called me up and started saying, "tor dada r college ta oto kharap noi re.amar husband o okhan thekei pass koreche". (Your brother's college is not that bad actually, my husband too has passed out from there.)

 7) Abusive people: I notice that among youngsters using the "F" words has become a kind of fad, which is so obvious if you tune in to any reality show involving youngsters and half of the words they say are beeped. I find those people so very annoying who begin a heated argument with an abusive word or sentence.I often see even highly qualified people using dirtiest of slangs to attack an opponent. Hurling abuses to unnerve an opponent is a huge turn-off for it can create rifts in hearts and antagonize people, to such an extent that sometimes the damage caused by reviling and ribaldry doesnot heal at all. 


8) Unsolicited Advisors: When I was working in a school, there were colleagues who presumed that they had the prerogative by virture of their seniority to advise their juniors, not only about professional matters but also about very personal things.They just didnt know when and where to draw the line and some of them were so annoying that they used to make constant intrusion into my personal space by giving me advice on personal matters including children, marriage,clothes and diet. After marriage I put on a considerable weight and I wanted to shed a few kilos. With that goal, I started a diet and tried avoiding rice as best as possible. During recess instead of taking roti or rice with curry, I went for lighter meals like fruit salad or a bowl of vegetables etc. It caught the eyes of my colleagues according to whom heavy lunch consisting of rotis or rice is an ideal meal. So these unsolicited self-acclaimed well-wishers literally started bugging me with questions about my diet making predictions as how this kind of light meal is going to make a long-time ill impact on my health and I would suffer problem during child-birth. Then after the completion of one year of my marriage came the barrage of advices with regard to family planning and how no matter what I should be thinking of taking a child. I never felt such pressure from my own mother and mother in law for conceiving and these people who were nothing more than colleagues to me, who were never to be seen in close vicinity in time of need, pried into my private matters to such a nagging extent that I literally felt 'rescued' when I quit the job ultimately.

Madhubala : the Venus of the Indian screen

Yesterday someone shared a rare collection of photos of Madhubala on FB. The photos clicked by photographer James Burke were published in Life Magazine of America which also featured unusual photos of actresses like Asha Parekh, Nalini Jaywant and Begum Para. I could not help sharing such exclusive snaps of her in my blog.

Madhubala looking so ethereal and life-like in the photos just piqued my curiosity further to explore more about this divine beauty. An actress of yesteryear, she was famed for her unparalleled luminous beauty and her swashbuckling performance in movies like Mughal-E-Azam, Chalti Ka Naam Gaadi, Howrah Bridge and Mahal. In her brief span of life she performed in 70 movies some of which were based on choices done arbitrarily to fend for her family members as she was the sole earning member of her family.

Born on the Valentine day of 1933, she came from a royal lineage of Kabul, Afghanisthan. Mumtaz Jahan Begum Dehlavi was her maiden name before she joined film industry and assumed the name "Madhubala" on the advice of Devika Rani, another well-known actress of that era. Fifth among 11 siblings, she entered films as a child artist at the age of 9. Her first film was Basant (1942) where she acted alongside the then famous actors Mumtaz Shanti and Ulhas. The film acquired whopping success in the box office but she had to wait till 1947 to bag the role of a leading lady. She was only 14 when the producer Kidar Sharma paired her against Raj Kapoor in the movie "Neel Kamal" (1947).The film didnot do well commercially but her impeccable beauty did not go unnoticed. Her first commercially successful movie was Mahal (1949) with Ashok Kumar, which earned her star status overnight. The song "Aayega Aanewala" was a haunting melody that propelled both Madhubala and Lata Mangeshkar rightaway into stardom.Encumbered with the burden of running her family as the only breadwinner she, in her initial years of career, chose movies randomly with the sole purpose of earning money.Financial desperation led her into compromising with the credibility of a serious actress and consequently she belched out a series of flop movies which earned her the sobriquet "Box-Office poison".

However, with her inimitable grace and matchless beauty, she notched a niche as one of the topmost heroines of that era starring opposite to an array of popular heroes of that time including Raj Kapoor, Dev Anand, Dilip Kumar, Ashok Kumar, Shammi Kapoor, Sunil Dutt and Pradip Kumar. She had worked with directors like Mehboob Khan, Guru Dutt, Kamal Amrohi and K. Asif who were notable and venerated in the genre of style and movie-making. Her role as an Anglo-Indian Cabaret dancer in Howrah Bridge, as Renu in Chalti Ka Naam Gaadi, as Anarkali in Mughal E Azam are some of the memorable characters she beautifully essayed, among others.

True to the words of the soothsayer who predicted that despite attaining lot of success and fame, she would lead an unhappy life and die a premature death, Madhubala had her personal life strewn with frustrations.Madhubala's father Ataullah Khan had a predominating presence in her life.He was extremely possessive of her and didnot allow her to mingle with people outside shooting schedules. She was not allowed to attend any film premiere or any party involving film promotion and she rarely gave interviews. Hollywood director Frank Capra, mesmerized by her celestial beauty as she was featured in many American magazines including LIFE and Theatre Arts, wanted to meet her during his India visit.But her father turned down the proposal of Frank Capra wanting to discuss a Hollywood opening for Madhubala,thereby nipping her prospective Hollywood career in its bud.

Madhubala had a longstanding 7 years of courtship with actor Dilip Kumar. They first met each other on the set of Jwar Bhata way back in 1944 when Madhubala was barely 11 years old. But their feelings for each other developed during the shooting of Tarana (1951) when Madhubala expressed her love sending a flower attached with a note through her hairdresser to Dilip Kumar. Unfortunately, following a controversial court case with B.R Chopra during the making of Naya Daur, the two parted ways for good.

However, there is a dichotomy of opinions with regard to the separation of Dilip Kumar and Madhubala. Some say that it was the preponderant influence of Ataullah Khan on Madhubala which forced her distance from Dilip Kumar.Ataullah Khan disapproved of her liaison with Dilip Kumar as he didn't want her to get married and quit films as his family solely lived on Madhubala's earnings. During the filming of Naya Daur, the director B.R Chopra wanted to shoot a part of the film in Bhopal and hence he wanted the unit to travel there.Ataullah Khan conceived that as a ploy to help Dilip Kumar romance Madhubala and opposed to it. Eventually, Madhubala like a true obedient daughter quit the film and thereupon B.R Chopra sued Madhubala for not completing the film she accepted advance payment for. The case lasted one year and actor Dilip Kumar testified against Madhubala and her father during the court proceeding. This case badly jeopardized Madhubala's image and embittered her relationship with Dilip Kumar. But in a recent interview on Madhubala, her younger sister Madhur Bhushan opined that "The reason Madhubala broke up with Dilip Kumar was B R Chopra's film Naya Daur, not my father." She said "Chopra's production filed a case against her, which went on for a year. But this did not spoil their relationship.Dilipsaab told her to forget movies and get married to him. She said she would marry him, provided he apologised to her father. He refused, so Madhubala left him. That one 'sorry' could have changed her life. She loved Dilipsaab till the day she died."

(If anyone is keen to read the whole interview, here goes the link: http://specials.rediff.com/movies/2008/mar/25sd1.htm)

Khatija Akbar in her biography about Madhubala wrote "Her father was a stern and dominating personality and Madhubala had been in awe of him all her life. When it came to the crunch, despite the depth of her feelings for Dilip Kumar, she did not have the courage to defy and over-ride her father and marry without his approval. Her happiness hinged on both Dilip Kumar's love, and her father's acceptance of it; that kind of emotional dependence is no longer seen or even understood." Shammi Kapoor believed ""She did not know when to break away. Geeta (Bali, Shammi Kapoor's wife) too was supporting her entire family, who similarly lived off her, but at one point she decided to leave. She left everything she had with them, broke away and married me. Madhubala could not leave her family."

Madhubala suffered from a serious heart ailment and during those days open heart surgery was not so widely prevalent.She had a hole in heart which was first discovered when she coughed blood during the shooting of Bahut Din Huwe (1954) in Chennai. However, not until 1957 during the shooting of Chalack when she passed out all of a sudden on the set that the seriousness of her disease was detected. Her sister said "She was advised bed rest for three months, but after a month of rest, Madhubala resumed work. Looking at her, one would not say that she was sick. She, herself, was not ready to believe that she was sick." Her last film was Mughal E Azam. Though some films were released after she became severely ill and after her death, but all of them were shot before she was taken ill and got bed-ridden in 1960. The shooting of Mughal E Azam took place through a long span of 9 years. The director K Asif, unaware of the severity of Madhubala's disease, slotted arduous shooting hours which proved detrimental to her health. Furthermore Madhubala's estranged relationship with Dilip Kumar drained her emotionally when she had to perform with him in romantic scenes. Reports say that apart from when dialogues were to be delivered, Dilip Kumar never exchanged a word with her. According to her sister "Madhubala married Kishore Kumar out of stubbornness, and anger towards Dilipsaab." Khatija Akbar in her biography about Madhubala wrote "Emotional to a fault, guileless in the bargain, she was simply not equipped to deal with the shock of the break-up." Like a fine actress she artfully hid the pain of her broken heart beneath the veneer of her effervescent smile. Filmfare in 1958 rightly observed: 'Her laughter is a becoming quality, not only because she comes to life as it were when she laughs but because a smile is the most charming cloak for a sob... Madhubala has had her share of struggle, suffering, disillusionment and emotional shock but no matter what lies beneath the surface she cloaks it with a graceful smile.'

After Mughal E Azam, she fell seriously ill. She even went to London for treatment in 1960 but her condition was in an advanced stage and doctors feared that she might not survive a surgery. The doctors announced that she would live more or less for a year only but defying their judgement, she continued to live for 9 years. Over the last few years of her life, she became completely bed bound and couldnot dress up. She died at a tender age of 36.

Her distracting glamour and infectious smile would always be missed in the movies.That we have never seen her grow old in front of our eyes the way we see other celebrities might be the fact that has etched her presence perennially in our minds. We find her a kind of riddle, a conundrum that is yet to be solved. At the same time her suffering and emotional hardship gnaw at out hearts arousing a wave of sympathy for her. That a coveted beauty like her had to perish at a tender age of mid-30s is a dreadful fact that has made her memory indelible, synonymous with the way we always rue over the untimely demise of Hollywood diva Marilyn Monroe.

Below is shared the link to the magazine Theatre Arts, 1952 August issue which you would find in the blog of Dr. Surajit Singh. http://films.hindi-movies-songs.com/index-books.html 

Dr. Surajit Singh painstakingly collected not only the 1952 August issue of the magazine but also has shared a song sung by Madhubala in the film Pujari (1946).

Sources:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Madhubala

http://specials.rediff.com/movies/2008/mar/25sd5.htm

http://www.rediff.com/entertai/apr/04madhu1.htm

http://blog.uread.com/post/5269350042/15-things-we-learnt-about-madhubala

http://films.hindi-movies-songs.com/index-books.html

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BnjZmHyoiAM

My niece performing

Oh children grow up so fast. It seems like yesterday only when my brother in law accompanied by my elder brother dropped by my school to pick me up but on being sadly refused permission by the officer-in-charge to even meet me and give the good news firsthand, they returned home while I sulked and kept waiting for the school to end so that I could rush back home as hurriedly as possible. It was an occasion of momentous joy for us. My elder sister had given birth to a doll in a hospital in Howrah, and she was the first birth of the generation succeeding us. Now aged 15, Titir as we lovingly call her is growing up rapidly. Besides being academically sound and the topper in her school DPS Razarhat, she is a good dancer. Here goes some of the videos, capturing her dance performance on Rabindra Jayanti, shared by bro-in-law on You tube:

One Last Goodbye to Lynn Gilderdale - Review

Myalgic Encephalomyelitis(ME) also known as Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS) is one of the debilitating diseases that has affected reportedly 17 million of people all over the world.Myalgia means muscle pain and encephalomyelitis means inflammation of the brain and spinal cord. The syndrome varies from patient to patient. People with lighter syndrome recover from the illness and lead a normal life, but people with severity of the cases become bed-bound,paraplegic with difficulty in eating and speaking. What triggers the disease is still a mystery. A simple flu or viral fever can leave one stricken with CFS. "One Last Goodbye" authored by Kay Gilderdale gives an account of the horrible life led by her daughter Lynn Gilderdale whose life was mercilessly cut short by this vicious diease.Lynn was barely 14 years old when the disease assailed her body. It was a routined BCG vaccination that triggered the ailment in Lynn. Immediately after the BCG jab, Lynn fell victim to a series of diseases including severe viral fever, tonsilitis, bronchitis which left her totally sapped and drained of all energy. She became completely bed-ridden within 6 months. Since she developed difficulty in  swallowing food, she was fed through a nasogastric tube at first which later on was replaced by a Hickman line. Hickman line is a line "permanently inserted into a major artery leading to the heart." Within a year or so she lost her speech too. In her mother's words ""the disease that had stolen her life and left her completely bedridden, unable to walk, talk or even swallow." For 17 long years she suffered the ailment which ravaged her body completely and restricted her life to the four walls of her room.

The ruthless undreamt-of blows came from some medical professionals who, deficient in their knowledge about ME, proclaimed that Lynn was pretentious and merely faking her illness in order to escape from school. Some even implicated that Lynn might have suffered some terrible sexual assault during her childhood at the hands of her own father and so out of paranoia, she started faking her illness which included violent convulsions, partial memory loss, vomiting, fainting frequently, paralysis from chest down etc. I wonder she had had to be an oscar winning actress if the words of the ignorant doctors were taken to be true.Back in 1991, when Lynn fell ill with ME, very few people were actually aware of the existence of ME and its symptoms. Most of the doctors and even best known hospitals, designated to specializing in the treatment of ME, dismissed the disease as something to do with physical illness. They rather treated the patients for psychiatric ailment, thereby worsening and aggravating the condition of the patients further. In Lynn's case whenever she was hospitalized for better treatment, she came out of the hospital in rather worse state than she went in. Her mother stated that she would regret all through her life for leaving Lynn at the Guy's Hospital of Uk for two weeks against Lynn's wish cause she lost her speech completely afterwards.


ME patients develop sensitivity to bright light and sound, and Lynn had her room shrouded with closed curtains. Only a bulb fitted to the aquarium, at 3 feet distance from her bed, used to provide the required gleam in her room. Since she was confined to her bedroom, her parents tried their best to offer her comfort bringing a little bit of life that she missed due to the illness, in her bedroom. She loved fishes and the aquarium was laid nearby her bed so that she could observe their activities for day long. She had about 5 or 6 hamsters which were kept in a cage and placed on a table nearby so that she could feed them and cuddle them when felt. She could not take part in socialization or meet people as interaction with people used to leave her totally wiped out and she took several days to recuperate from the exhaustion.Hence her parents whenever there was any get-together or party held at home used to record the event in video recorder and show it to Lynn so that she could witness what all passed in the party. Undeniably, she was blessed with one of the most caring mothers who willingly confined herself within their home because of her daughter. As Lynn waged battle with her illness, Mrs Kay Gilderdale continued her fight in finding out a miraculous remedy to Lynn's all distress. Unfortunately, ME is a strange disease which affects the neurological functioning of brain making all the actions of our body go haywire and till now, it is not curable. Lynn went through torrents of test which showed no symptoms of abnormality. Her blood was fine, CT-Scan showed her brain was in perfect order and other tests also exhibited no clear sign of any problem. Hence doctors started believing that the problem was in Lynn's mind. One doctor even commented that Lynn suffered from "Lynn Gilderdale syndrome".


Since ME is not very common, an array of misconceptions and prejudices relating to the disease are predominant in the medical world. Sometimes even patients suffering from slight stress and exhaustion are considered as having ME, whereas actual patients suffering from ME show more severe symptoms. Usually, exercise or physical work out is considered beneficial for anyone suffering from physical disability, but patients ill with ME get into a worse state if they work out. Some doctors dont believe that any disease called 'ME' even exists and they treat ME patients for mental illness taking every of their discomforting syndrome as mere pretense. What's worse when Lynn contracted a skin infection called 'ringworm' from her cat and developed itchy red sores on different areas of her body, the doctor treating her opined that it was self-inflicted and that Lynn had done this to herself purposely to get 'attention'. He even summoned a psychiatrist to tend to Lynn. Her parents had really a tough time convincing the doctors of the actual cause of her infection.


Years rolled on with Lynn showing no sign of improvement and slowly her body gave away to a series of other breakdowns - liver dysfunction, heart problems, severe osteoperesis, adrenal failure, thyroid gland dysfunctioning and kidney problems, among other things. 17 years is a precious period of anyone's life or for any pain to get healed. Lynn and her mother had been fighting against ME together with the hope of Lynn being able to lead a normal life one day once she recovered from the disease. But all pains endured and all efforts undertaken during the long span of 17 years proved futile as Lynn instead of getting better was turning worse. Her suffering slowly forced her to come to a decision of ending her life as death seemed to be the only respite possible from her ugly life. During the last few months of her life, she was suffering from bouts of depression which evermore hardened her determination to end her life and she cajoled and coaxed her mother to assist her in suicide. The last few hours before her death was riddled with tension and anxiety as she plunged into an unconscious state with the morphine overdose and her mother kept awaiting her death with bated breath. The account of that phase was very emotional and touching and I prayed that no mother ever had to go through such agony of seeing her daughter or son die infront of her eyes.


What could be more cruel than being held responsible for the death of one's own daughter? As if Lynn's death alone was not enough to shatter the spirit of Kay Gilderdale that she was accused and imprisoned, under criminal suspicion, of 'murdering' her own daughter. The last few chapters describing Kay's battle against the pointed fingers at her involvement in Lynn's death was charged with emotions and would wring tears even from the hardened of hearts.

Below is shared the link that has excerpts from Lynn's diary which written few months prior to her death is open only to some select few.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1246053/Lynn-Gilderdales-heartbreaking-online-diary-chronicled-life-suffered-ME.html

Wedding Rituals and Customs of Different Countries

James Stockdale’s quotation “And we had our own custom, traditions, and proprieties” rightly sets the tune of my article. It is true that we all are bound by a set of traditions, customs and proprieties which are very unique and aboriginal of our own individual culture. However, marriage being one tradition followed by all and sundry across the world irrespective of community, religion, country has rituals and customs varying from country to country and sometimes from one region to another within the same country.


Some of these rituals are quite bizarre forcing us to think that marriage is more than the commitments, love and friendship. It is a way to embark upon a new life with all the blessings and wishes of family and friends who do everything going out of their way to make the day special for the wedding couple. Without these off-the-wall strange rites the ceremony of marriage won’t be marriage…….an event fraught with amusement and pleasure. It seems incredible that with the fast changing scenario of society and culture, some of the ancient wedding rituals that have been carried over from one generation to the next are still in vogue today.


Scottish wedding traditions are quite elaborate with a lot of interesting ancient customs all of which are no longer followed in detail. There is an assortment of pre-wedding, during the wedding and post wedding rituals like the feet washing, stag night, blackening of the bride, hand fasting etc. In ‘feet washing’ custom the bride dips her feet in a tumbler full of water with a bunch of her female friends sitting around her to wash her feet. There remains a coin hidden in the water and the one who finds the coin out is believed to be married next year. ‘The Stag Night’ custom is what we call in modern terms ‘bachelor party’. The groom accompanied by his friends celebrates the night usually in a bar drinking to his heart’s content being the target of the good-natured ribaldry. No Scottish wedding is complete without the bagpipers piping in the beginning and at the end of the ceremony. During the marriage ceremony, there is a ritual called ‘hand fasting’ which requires the couple to tie their hands in a cord or ‘tartan cloth’ while they take their marriage vows meaning that from then on they are combined into a single entity. Strangely enough, in some of the provinces of Scotland, there is a pre-wedding ritual called ‘blackening the bride’ where the kitchen refuse like rotten eggs or fishes or stale vegetables are thrown at the bride and then she is ‘paraded round the town mostly in bars along the way.’


French wedding too is performed in a grand manner where the orange blossoms play a significant role. During the wedding vows, a silk fabric called ‘carre’ is held over the head of the bride and groom to protect them from evil. Then there is a ritual of the bride’s father taking the bride’s shoes off and handing it over to the groom as an indication to ‘pass the authority’ over the bride to the groom. The groom acknowledges the transfer of the authority by gently tapping the head of the bride with the shoe. At the reception small cakes usually brought by the guests are arranged in a mound as high as possible and the bride and groom are to kiss that mound without toppling them over. This custom stands for a life of prosperity. On the wedding night friends of the bride and groom make a loud noise by blowing horns or clanging pots and pans to force the wedding couple come out of their chamber fully dressed to entertain their ‘tormentors’ with foods and drinks.


German wedding incorporates some weird customs one of them being ‘polterabend’ which entails smashing of a pile of dishes by the assembled guests for the bride and groom to clean the mess up. The idea working behind such custom is that the action of cleaning the heap of shattered dishes would prepare the couple for their new lives together. The throwing of rice is an ancient custom of German wedding passing on from one generation to the other. While leaving the church after marriage, the newlyweds are deluged in rice. Each of the rice grain sticking to the hair of the bride is believed to indicate future progeny.


In Chinese traditions the wedding day is called the ‘groom’s day’’ meaning the groom and his families will have to bear all the expenses associated with marriage. The process of marriage is initiated by three letters. First is a request letter sent by the groom’s family to the bride’s family to confirm the formal arrangement of marriage. Second is the gift letter that mentions the value of each gift sent to the bride’s family from groom’s side and the concluding letter is presented on the day of the wedding. The color red plays an important role in Chinese marriage. Everything starting from envelopes to the wedding dress of the bride is in red.


India being a multi-lingual and multi-cultural country has people celebrating the occasion following a range of customs differing from one province or community to another. Diversity in its true form exists here. The rituals and rites followed in Bengali wedding are at variance with the ones observed in a Marathi wedding. There is a plethora of wedding rituals performed during the wedding, pre-wedding and after the wedding of a Bengali marriage. Red being the color of fertility and prosperity for Indians, the bride dons the traditional dress ‘saree’ of red or colors having a shade of crimson. The wedding day is preceded by rituals like ‘holud kota’ and ‘dodhi-mongol’. In ‘holud-cota’ ceremony the bride is smeared from top to toe with turmeric paste by the elderly married women. Turmeric is believed to brighten up the bride’s complexion bringing a natural glow to her face. ‘Dadhi mongol’ ceremony takes place at the dawn of the wedding day when married ladies put a pair of red and white bangles on the hands of the bride feeding her curd and rice, the only meal for the day. Both these rituals are performed at the groom’s home too with a slight difference that the groom doesn’t wear the bangles. The main wedding rituals involve a host of customs like ‘mala bodol’, ‘subho-drishti’, ‘saat paak’, ‘sampradan’ etc. The wedding begins with ‘saat-pak’ when the bride seated on a low wooden stool is carried by her brothers or uncles to circumambulate the groom for seven times. After the end of this ritual, the bride and the groom exchange garlands of tuberose thrice followed by ‘subho-drishti’ when the bride and groom steal a romantic glance of each other in front of all the invitees. ‘Sampradan’ is a ‘transfer of authority’ over the bride from her father to the groom. With this ceremony the father of the bride hands over all the responsibilities of his daughter on the shoulders of the groom.


Regardless of the difference of wedding customs and traditions discussed above, the main purpose of observing all the rituals in a nuptial is common for everyone i.e. to felicitate the couple binding them in an eternal bond of love and commitment.




Resources:




Brainyquote.com: http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/traditions.html

http://www.vowsfromtheheartofscotland.com/traditions.htm

http://www.muslim-marriage-guide.com/french-wedding-customs.html

http://ezinearticles.com/?German-Wedding-Customs&id=1321753

http://www.983wedding.com/chinese/

Lance Armstrong: It's Not About the Bike

Recently I have finished reading the autobiography of Lance Armstrong, the great cyclist who not only beat testicular cancer, but also has set an example for us that nothing can overpower strong will and determination.

The book begins featuring Armstrong as an obstinate go-getter who literally lives on cycling. If Lance sets his mind about something, no obstacles, no impediments can stand in his way. At a very early age of his life, he realizes that unlike others he has an exceptional capability to bear severe pain and injury. His persistence and mental stamina are revealed when Lance survived an almost fatal accident which left him severely wounded. He received multiple stitches on his head and the massive gash on his foot was stitched too. His knee being sprained in the accident was kept in brace. His doctor advised him to take complete rest for three weeks. But Lance was Lance. He cut the stitches on his foot with nail-clipper, removed the brace from his knee and participated in Triathlon competition within 7 days from the accident. Incredibly, he came out third at the competition.

Only at the age of 25, Lance was detected with cancer. Normal people facing the similar situation would have broken down in despair, but he combated the disease perseveringly undergoing innumerable sessions of chemo. The strong chemicals in chemo left his body burning in pain. He lost his hair, lost his muscles and appetite. He retched for hours. When normal guys of his age were out there enjoying their lives, he was pinned down on bed to battle with a life threatening disease like cancer. However, his plight could not make him give up hope to survive and race again. With the same fortitude that he showed all through his treatment he waged the battle, this time, to revive his physical strength to compete with others in one of the most gruelling sport events.After recuperating from cancer, he not only won once but seven times in Tour De France, the most challenging race that demands extreme physical and mental endurance. Lance is truly an inspirational figure.

The book also captures moments of his relationship with his mother, who conceived him at a very young age. He is very lucky in one way that he has got such a loving devoted mother to stand by his side through thick and thin. Besides his mother, the coterie of his close friends including his coach whom he fondly called his ‘surrogate father’ and his manager supported him immensely during the crisis.

The book is a must read for everyone as it teaches us how to conquer the hardships of life through strong resolution and will power. Life is full of challenges but the success of life depends upon how we overcome those challenges and charge forward to achieve our goals. “Make every obstacle an opportunity”……Lance’s mother’s words not only inspired him to give a full-blown fight to the disease, but also will continue to inspire us to look upon obstacles as mere challenges to overcome.

Female Circumcision

I was under this delusion that at the onset of 21st Century the condition of women are quite progressive and that we have left behind the barbaric past which subdued women forcing them to follow rituals without any logical explanation, but to my horror I recently discovered the existence of female circumcision widely practised in some parts of the world even today and as per the report of 'WHO', "an estimated 100 to 140 million girls and women worldwide are currently living with the consequences of FGM" (Female Genital Mutilation) carried out on cultural and religious reasons.



I knew about circumcision performed on men where through surgical help the foreskin of a man's sexual organ is removed to stimulate the pleasure of copulation, but that something like 'female circumcision' exists was rankly unknown to me until I read through some books by Jean Sasson based on the lives of Arab women. In few sections of the world, still this barbarization is inflicted on young girls,who have just reached puberty, in the name of religion and tradition. God knows when these people will be enlightened enough to stop exercising such inhuman act on their women. This torturous act entails no medical benefits except an excruciating pain experienced by the victims of this rite. While surfing through the WHO website I came across an information, which also has been reiterated in the book "Daughters of Arabia" by Jean Sasson, regarding FGM.


The procedures to execute circumcision are extremely painful and they are done by mainly non-medical staff, quacks or even barbars with the help of equipments like scissors, needles, knife etc. A special ceremony is organized to celebrate the occasion when varieties of delicacies are prepared to feast upon and then the girl to be circumcised is taken into a room where other women hold her down while the person appointed to carry out the task sets into work  The procedures involved with FGM are of four types:

"1.Clitoridectomy: partial or total removal of the clitoris (a small, sensitive and erectile part of the female genitals) and, in very rare cases, only the prepuce (the fold of skin surrounding the clitoris).


2.Excision: partial or total removal of the clitoris and the labia minora, with or without excision of the labia majora (the labia are "the lips" that surround the vagina).


3.Infibulation: narrowing of the vaginal opening through the creation of a covering seal. The seal is formed by cutting and repositioning the inner, or outer, labia, with or without removal of the clitoris.

4.Other: all other harmful procedures to the female genitalia for non-medical purposes, e.g. pricking, piercing, incising, scraping and cauterizing the genital area. " (credited to http://www.who.int/mediacentre/factsheets/fs241/en/)

The immediate hazard of Female Circumcision involves "severe pain, shock, haemorrhage (bleeding), tetanus or sepsis (bacterial infection), urine retention, open sores in the genital region and injury to nearby genital tissue." as reported by WHO.


Permanent or long-term effect incurred by FGM includes:

• "recurrent bladder and urinary tract infections;
• cysts;
• infertility;
• an increased risk of childbirth complications and newborn deaths;
• the need for later surgeries. For example, the FGM procedure that seals or narrows a vaginal opening (type 3 above) needs to be cut open later to allow for sexual intercourse and childbirth. Sometimes it is stitched again several times, including after childbirth, hence the woman goes through repeated opening and closing procedures, further increasing and repeated both immediate and long-term risks." (credited by http://www.who.int/mediacentre/factsheets/fs241/en/)

This beastly rite is quite rampant in some parts of Africa, Middle East, Asia and among some immigrant communities of Europe and North America. Though people are at odds with the necessity of the performance of this act, some fanatical and lunatically obsessed people find it righteous to carry on this tradition. Preventive steps to eradicate such an evil practice infringing on the human rights are underway. For more details, go through the following websites:

http://www.who.int/mediacentre/factsheets/fs241/en/

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1497147/

Why women are forbidden to testify in Saudi Court?

While reading Princess by Jean Sasson, I came across an interesting piece of information much to my amusement. So I thought to share it with you. The extract below is copied verbatim from the book itself.

WHY WOMEN ARE FORBIDDEN TO TESTIFY IN CRIMINAL PROCEEDINGS IN SAUDI COURT


"There are four reasons given why women's testimony is not valid in Saudi court:

1. Women are much more emotional than men and will, as a result of their emotions, distort their testimony.
2. Women do not participate in public life, so they will not be capable of understanding what they observe.
3. Women are dominated completely by men, who by the grace of God are deemed superior; therefore, women will give testimony according to what the last man told them.
4. Women are forgetful, and their testimony cannot be considered reliable."

I found the fourth reason the most amusing and the most obnoxious. "Women are forgetful" ???? I have seen women having sharp memories than most of the men. I have seen my father forgetting to lock the door before stepping out of home but my mother? She will NEVER miss that. As for me, I never even forget the things said to me. I can clearly recollect each and every happy and sad moments of my life with a photographic memory. So strange that on such baseless and unjustified ground, a country's law deprives women of their right to testimony !!

Debu's B'day 2011

Yesterday was Debu's B'day. Usually every year on his b'day I wish him as soon as the the sound of clock ticking twelve rings in my ear but this year I was so immersed in a novel I am going through currently that I forgot all about his b'day until the next morning when upon opening the facebook page I saw Debsankar's updates on my wall page with wishes of b'day swarming his wall. He was about to leave for office when this happened. Immediately I gave him all my wishes that he must have been waiting to hear since the night before. Last year we celebrated his b'day at a friend's place who invited us for their wedding anniversary. So, alongside their cutting the cake for anniversary, Debu also blew candles and cut cake for his b'day at the same ceremony. But, this year I didnt want him to celebrate this occasion somewhere else other than with me at our home. So I prepared cake, chicken curry, chana masala, vermicelli payesh and luchi for the celebration. Nonetheless, Debu with his busy schedule could make time for home only after 8.30p.m and so we celebrated the last three hours of his b'day together with each other in merriment. 

"Princess" & My Overview

I dont know if I should encroach upon any issue belonging to a foreign nation and voice my opinion. But reading through a couple of books on the derogatory condition of women living in Saudi Arabia, my heart seethed with anger at the lowly life imposed upon these hapless women and myself being a woman, I could not restrain my voice upon knowing the suffering of another woman.

Recently while surfing through an e-library I stumbled upon a book called "Princess" penned by Jean Sasson. Jean Sasson is an American writer a good chunk of whose books revolve round the women of Middle East. Jean stayed in Saudi Arabia for over a decade and this gave her an opportunity to peep into the lives of Saudi women. The one I am going through right now relates the experiences of a Saudi princess 'Sultana' who was the youngest of her 11 siblings. She shared her gruesome lifestory with Jean and insisted on her story to be written and made public. She wanted to reveal the painful inner life of Saudi princesses shrouded under the disguise of sparkling jewellaries and high life of the royals.

 The story brought forth the hypocrisy of Saudi men who bound their women by forcing them to follow stringent customs of medieval period while they themselves roamed around freely and easily got away with the commitment of the most forbidding heinous acts of adultery and rape. It is shocking how teenage girls are married to sagging old men fourth times their age and mothers have no say in the marriage of their daughters. How a woman for petty violation of Muslim custom is stoned to death or drowned in the pool by none other than her own father while men go around violating women and their rights as a human being.

"Princess" by Jean Sasson is a real eye opener to the distressing condition of women born & rotting in Saudi Arabia. I feel that being born as a stray dog would provide one far more better life than the one lived by a woman there. Atleast a street dog has freedom to do what it feels like, but women, considered nothing more than a piece of flesh and machinery for reproduction, have their entire life controlled and maneuvered by the will of the men clan.

The book gave me an insight into the state of women in Saudi society as nothing more than a herd of cattle, ready to be sacrificed any minute for the pleasure of the opponent sex. Sultana through this book has made an appeal to the women ,fortunate to live a life of freedom, for coming together to help uplift the condition of women in Saudi Arabia as the men tied to the barbaric medieval time wont pursue the change for the betterment of the fairer sex. I wish I would know a way to contribute to the cause.

I too had a love story

Recently one of my friends told me about a book called "I too had a love story". I have read "Love Story" by Erich Sehgal but "I too had a love story" was an unknown name to me. I have never heard or read about the writer. Then I got to know that this is the debut book of Ravinder Singh, a software engineer in Infosys, who has given an account of a sad love story here. Since Erich Sehgal's "Love Story" ended with the untimely demise of the girl the hero was in love with, I immediately had a hunch that this book by Ravinder Singh too would be sad in undertone for the titles of both the books are quite akin to each other, but I had least idea that the tale told in the story relates Ravinder's personal experience. Upon my friend's positive feedback, I downloaded the pdf version and went through it.

The love story circling around the two main characters, Ravinder himself and his girlfriend Khushi, whom he met through Shaadi.com, was portrayed beautifully.It was a perfect love affair though an unconventional one, because Ravinder met the girl hardly twice face to face. But physical distance was never a hindrance to their booming affection for each other. Even before meeting one another in person, they fell madly in love and decided to tie the knot. Their frequent communication on phone throughout the day, chatting on net, exchange of mails and snaps contributed to the formation of a beautiful relationship. They both were faithful and committed to each other and I was quite carried away by Ravinder's honesty and committment to his girlfriend, very unlikely trait to be spotted among guys of today's generation. Their love story had a slight resemblance with my own, because I too met my hubby through a matrimonial site. My hubby too popped the question even before seeing me in person and we, too hardly met twice or thrice before taking the vow of marriage. Yes, we were glued to each other on phone almost all the time, but since he lived in one city and me in another, the chances of meeting each other were very rare. Perhaps, this sets the trend for modern day love affairs where distance is bridged via technology. Internet and mobile have become an integral part of our life so much so that the thought of living without them seems an impossible phenomenon.

Anyway, coming back to the story, the romance was growing strong between Khushi and Ravinder with the passage of time and both of them got inseparably attached to each other emotionally. Ravinder could not spend a day without talking or chatting with Khushi and same was from her side too. Just when their betrothal date was fixed right on 14th February 2007 (the year I got married too in the month of November and had everything been going perfectly, Ravinder too would have married Khushi in November 2007 only) , Khushi was very happy making preparation for the big event of her life. She was laughing, singing and dancing in happiness for the forthcoming ceremony, but alas ! life is so unpredictable or may be God is so ruthlessly humorous that he strikes the lethal blow when one is gearing up for embracing the utmost happiness. Quite sadistic, huh !! Two days prior to the engagement, Khushi while coming back from office at the crack of dawn (She was doing night shifts for US project) met with an accident which left her mortally wounded. For two weeks she battled with life and eventually succumbed to her injuries.

Life is so very unfair. Unscrupulous dishonest people afflicting pain to others for their own gain never face such fate, but good righteous people incapable of cheating anyone are the ones to suffer such predicament. The last few pages describing the blow of Khushi's death on Ravinder where he wrote "She died and I survived. I survivded and so I died every day" was so heartbreaking that my eyes welled up in tears. Unfaithful people shifting from one partner to another like the change of weather, exploiting others for their own benefit never receive any punishment and good human beings go through all the trials and tribulations as if God is testing their resilience at every junction of life. Why God doesnot have any fairness in doling out justice? Like Ravinder, I too have lost all the faith in the existence of the Supreme Being. God is nothing but a figment of our imagination fed into us by our family and society since the time we open our eyes. It adds to my wonderment that innumerable wars are fought and riots are agitated in the name of this nonexistent being.

Ravinder's splendid depiction of Khushi aroused my curiosity to view her photo but by surfing the net, I could find only Ravinder's snaps. Unquestionably, Ravinder is a pretty handsome dude but somewhere in his eyes, the pain he suffered is hidden. I went through his facebook fan page and his profile but could not locate any snap of Khushi. I wish alonside the beautiful but heart-wrenching love story, he could have some snaps of Khushi printed in his book.